So, I know my last post was a bit on the sad side, and this one will have a touch of sadness, but for the most part, it will be full of happiness. Who doesn't like that?
After writing my last post, I realized that the whole being upset over the college thing is a little ridiculous, because I know there are alternatives. But I think it was just kind of an initial shock that my options were more limited than I would have liked for them to be. My coach always told me this analogy and I guess I'll share it with you. Imagine how your mom sees your room when she starts getting after you to clean it up, laundry everywhere, cups of moldy beverages, maybe even some lost homework buried underneath it all. You go to start cleaning it and you'll probably do one of two things. If you look at your room and how messy it is as a whole, it seems like an impossible, overwhelming task. You know that you won't ever get it done, or that it will take you a long time. I think that's the pessimistic way of looking at things, and that's what I was doing with the college thing. I took in the situation as a whole. Now, think of it this way, you have to start somewhere. Whether it's a sock, a cup, or scrap piece of paper, you've got to pick something up. And one sock after another, you realize that you're almost done. This is the more optimistic way of thinking, and what I should have done. I should have just researched my alternatives and accept that maybe for once, I might have to settle for less. After all, at least I have the chance to go to college, right?
Halloween came around, and for some reason, something about it just wasn't the same as it usually is. I just didn't feel the same Halloween spirit that I usually do. I can't put my finger on what exactly was so different, and I'm not sure I'll ever be able to. But nevertheless, I still had a wonderful Halloween. The past week we've been writing and working on a big report in College English, and it was due on Halloween. Well, if we dressed up for Halloween as a character from a Creepy Circus (the theme of our report) we were promised extra credit. So for school, I dressed up as a porcelain doll, and I had fun getting ready. I wore curly pigtails on my head, foundation that was a few shades too light, and bright red lipstick. Once I came home, I went trick or treating with Jenna and her friends and dressed as a zombie for that. I had tons of fun getting dressed and ready.
Today I gave blood for my very first time, and I'm not going to lie, going in I was very nervous about the whole procedure. I don't know why, maybe because I'd never had blood drawn, or maybe that something would be wrong with my blood and I couldn't donate. I'm just not sure. Well, after the whole experience, I am for sure going to do it again. Knowing that I made a difference for at least three people's lives, it makes me feel like I've made a mark on the world. And that feeling, it's indescribable, and I love it. I didn't get light headed, dizzy, and I didn't pass out either. Seeing the needle go in my arm didn't hurt, as a matter of fact, it hurt more getting my finger pricked to check my iron levels than the needle did the three times they had tried to get it in my vein.
And for my last little part of this entry. So I know this guy, and have known him since eighth grade. That's quite a bit of time. at one point in time, I started crushing on him, but I realized that the feeling wasn't mutual and moved on with my life and accepted the fact that we'll probably be nothing more than best friends. Our friendship wasn't perfect, but it was pretty d**n close to it. We had our fights, we had our laughs, we shared our tears and our hardships. He's been there for me through thick and thin, and to this day, I trust him for everything I'm worth, and I hope that the same could be said of me. While I don't have a crush on him anymore (obviously), he is my very best friend, and I care for him very much. There were those summers that he went off to camp, and the only way we had communication with each other was via letter writing. That hurt, a lot, because the convenience of a telephone was something that I had grown accustomed to. I remember the way I felt when we would hang out the night before he left, and then when he finally did leave, I just felt an empty hole in my heart because I knew that while my best friend would still be there for me from a distance, it just wasn't the same. Well, last night this friend and I had our very last Skype call for two years since he'll be serving a mission in Calgary, Canada. This friend's name, you're asking? His name is Jake. Now, while I'll miss Jake for my own selfish reasons, I'm so very happy for him and his decision to serve his church. I sincerely hope that those Canadians see all the wonderful qualities in Jake that I see in him. Jake, I'll miss you terribly, not that I already did, but still. I'll see you in two kid! Good luck, Elder Law! You'll be an extraordinary missionary, and that I have no doubt about.
That's all I have guys, I hope life stays well for you all!
~Alyssa
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